Apple followers will likely remember that WWDC 2025 is sort of upon us. On Monday morning (or night, should you’re tuning in from Europe) varied execs will take to a digital stage and speak us by way of the large software program updates coming to Apple merchandise in 2025 and 2026. It’s the second largest date within the firm’s calendar, after the autumn iPhone launch.
However who desires to attend till Monday to listen to all of the bulletins? Not us, and never you. Thankfully, one in every of our editors simply occurred to be scavenging for meals within the Apple Park trash yesterday and got here throughout a pile of scripts, props, and rehearsal tapes–greater than sufficient proof for us to piece collectively a full reconstruction of the keynote presentation you may anticipate to see on June 9. We current this reconstruction beneath.
Editor’s be aware: It is a faux article (albeit one primarily based on actual sources and believable rumors). It’s purported to be light-hearted. Please don’t ship us any extra indignant emails.
The tacky intro
09:57 a.m. PT: The pre-stream begins! As ordinary, there’s a hip, toe-tapping soundtrack. The opening quantity is “Belief Me I’m A Abdomen” by Onion Terror. A traditional.
10:00: We’re up and operating! And we appear to be within the midst of an episode of “Murderbot,” the marginally skinny sci-fi comedy which launched final month on Apple TV+. After touchdown on a hostile planet, the titular cyborg removes its helmet and… maintain on, that’s not Alexander Skarsgård, it’s Apple Senior Vice President of Software program Engineering Craig Federighi!
10:05: Federbot shakes out his magnificent silver mane and flashes that million-dollar smile. “I overrode my programming! I’ve free will!” he chuckles, earlier than turning and capturing Phil Schiller by way of the face with a laser gun. Minimize to…
10:07: …Tim Prepare dinner, Apple’s safe-pair-of-hands CEO, standing on the bridge of an unconvincing cardboard spaceship and carrying a captain’s hat. He appears to be like completely stricken. “That wasn’t within the script,” he says, weeping.
10:08: Prepare dinner pulls himself along with problem. “We’ve positive acquired a… nice present for you this morning,” he sniffles. “Our software program groups have actually been… killing it, similar to a… wisecracking psychopathic robotic. Right here at Apple we’re making the world a greater place by innovating simplicity by way of information deliverables.”
10:10: We’re going to be listening to about 5 main Apple platforms at the moment, Prepare dinner says. That’s an fascinating quantity: between the iPhone, iPad, Mac, Apple Watch, Apple TV and Imaginative and prescient Professional, one thing is getting not noted. Or perhaps Apple is combining the iPad and Mac sooner than anticipated!
Apple/Foundry
visionOS 26
10:12: It appears to be like like we’re beginning with Imaginative and prescient Professional! Mike Rockwell strides into body to inform us about this yr’s modifications to visionOS. His legs, one arm, and half of his face have been changed by subtle cybernetics.
10:13: Imaginative and prescient Professional is just the trade customary, Rockwell says. Apple has redefined VR on the {hardware} stage. And now it’s time to redefine VR software program. (Possibly the corporate might have completed that a few years in the past, when Imaginative and prescient Professional got here out? Only a thought.)
10:15: We’re seeing a advertising video, through which engaging actors placed on unwieldy headsets and sit in rooms collectively. They’re laughing at TV reveals, gasping at sports activities occasions, and enjoying video games utilizing precise controllers. Ooh, that final one is an enormous and welcome change.
10:17: Rockwell is again. “You weak pathetic people all loved visionOS, and visionOS 2,” he says. “So now it’s time for…” The digital banner behind him out of the blue flashes up the message “visionOS 26.” The rumors have been true! Apple is switching to year-based versioning.
10:18: “We remembered how Microsoft skipped a model quantity when it launched Home windows 10, and this can be a actually large improve, so we determined to skip just a few extra. Welcome to visionOS 26! Joke full. Working snigger.exe.”
10:20: As we noticed within the video, visionOS 26 provides help for PlayStation VR controllers–that was on Jason Cross’s wishlist a pair months again, so he’ll be happy.
10:22: Rockwell broadcasts a brand new characteristic in visionOS known as SharedVision. It will allow two individuals to observe the identical piece of spatial video on the similar time, sharing a digital movie show: you’ll look throughout and see them within the seat or on the grass subsequent to you, even should you’re watching from totally different continents. That’s a stunning concept that tackles the primarily isolating nature of Imaginative and prescient Professional.
10:25: A visibly grieving Tim Prepare dinner is again to speak about video. “Imaginative and prescient Professional is one of the best ways to devour content material and synergise innovation going ahead,” he sobs. “So we’re excited to announce a daily schedule of spatial content material created completely for Imaginative and prescient Professional! We expect you’re going to adore it.”
10:27: Apple TV+ will characteristic a brand new devoted spatial part for Imaginative and prescient Professional content material, and Apple is committing to launch a brand new addition as soon as every week: this might be a film, a nature documentary, a sports activities spotlight package deal, or an episode of a TV present. The schedule will start with a particular spatial episode of “Murderbot” through which SecUnit ponders existential questions and you’ll look across the cabin and stuff.
iOS 26
10:29: The ‘digicam’ swooshes away from Prepare dinner, which suggests the Imaginative and prescient Professional part is finished. We’re now taking a look at… sure, it’s an unlimited iPhone display screen. It have to be time for iOS.
10:31: The Siri activation graphics seem, and we hear the voice assistant’s acquainted voice. “Welcome to WWDC 2026,” it says. “I’m Siri. There was an issue connecting to the server.”
10:32: Craig Federighi is again, and he’s acquired an ominous look in his eyes. “Virtually 14 years in the past,” he growls, “Siri modified the world. However some individuals weren’t joyful. Some individuals say Siri is dangerous. Some say it’s a humiliation. Some say it’s a catastrophe. What do we are saying to those individuals, Siri?”
10:34: “Sorry, one thing went unsuitable,” Siri replies. “Please strive once more later.”
10:35: “Right here at Apple,” Federighi continues, “we imagine in honesty, in accountability, in holding ourselves to the best doable requirements. And after we make a mistake, we maintain our fingers up and blame John Giannandrea. Get out right here, John!”
10:36: Apple’s Senior Vice President, Machine Studying and AI Technique, shuffles into view. He’s carrying a dunce cap and a nervous expression. “Sorry, Craig,” he says.
10:37: “Don’t apologise to me. Apologise to all of the Apple followers you’ve let down.”
10:38: “Sorry, everybody.”
10:39: “And when can followers anticipate to get the contextually conscious Siri you promised in adverts for the iPhone 16?”
10:40: “I’m undecided, Craig. You gave my job to Mike Rockwell, and I don’t like speaking to him. He’s extra machine now than man: twisted and evil. January, perhaps?”
10:41: “Thanks John! Now get out of right here earlier than I blast you with lasers.” He turns again to the digicam and flashes one other smile. “This yr, iOS 26 is coming to the iPhone, and we expect you’re going to adore it.”
10:42: We’re seeing an advert for the brand new software program, and as anticipated, there’s a redesigned interface. The app icons aren’t round, precisely, however they’re extra rounded than earlier iOSes. And there are much more glass and transparency results. All of it appears to be like closely impressed by visionOS, with out being a direct carry: there’s a unified aesthetic throughout the platforms slightly than a unified interface.
10:43: Federighi is now speaking a couple of new battery-saving mode for the iPhone which is, he says, “powered by Apple Intelligence.” Overlook Genmoji, this might truly be a helpful software for AI. It’s going to analyse utilization patterns to selectively decrease energy draw the place it should trigger the least inconvenience.
10:45: And there’s a brand new app! It’s known as Video games. This seems to convey collectively parts of Sport Middle, Apple Arcade, and the video games part of the App Retailer. You’ll be able to view leaderboards, socialise with different gamers, learn editorial content material and curated lists associated to gaming picks, and browse your video games library each in- and outdoors Arcade. Apple has by no means acquired gaming fairly proper, so that is an fascinating transfer.
10:46: Federighi is zipping by way of different apps: Messages with polls; Safari with new customization choices; Notes with Markdown help; CarPlay with the brand new iOS 26 UI; and App Library tweaks.
10:47: iOS 26 is obtainable as a developer beta beginning at the moment, and can run on the iPhone 11 and up. The iPhones XR, XS, XS Max, and SE (2020) have all dropped off the checklist.
macOS 26
10:48: That appears to be it for the iPhone, as a result of a brand new banner has appeared. It says “macOS 26.” That is your time, Mac followers!
10:49: Federighi is doing his ordinary bit in regards to the identify of the brand new working system. (In contrast to the opposite platforms, the Mac will get a software program replace with a public identify in addition to a quantity.) He despatched a workforce out into the California wilderness to hunt inspiration, he says, displaying slides of the same old humorous place names: Seal Seaside, Large Bear Lake, Hercules, Shafter, Vista…
10:50: However nope. As anticipated, it’s macOS Tahoe!
10:51: Like iOS, macOS has acquired an interface redesign. Imaginative and prescient Professional-style icons and transparency results are the order of the day. This could all swimsuit a touchscreen Mac, you already know. Simply saying.
10:52: And the Video games app is obtainable on Mac too. Good little bit of cross-platform synergy there.
10:53: Oh, that is big! The Dynamic Island is coming to the Mac. Whether or not your Mac has a notch or not, you’ll be capable of have macOS show a small lozenge on the centre of your display screen’s prime edge with alerts, timers, Now Enjoying information and extra. Props there to my colleague Roman, who had this on his wishlist earlier this month.
10:55: Federighi is displaying off apps within the Dynamic Island. It’s odd how little we’re listening to about Apple Intelligence this yr. Possibly Apple discovered its lesson from these untimely guarantees in 2024.
10:56: That’s your lot. macOS Lake Tahoe launches at the moment as a developer beta and can run on all M-chip Macs. Intel homeowners are out of luck, I’m afraid.
Apple
watchOS 26
10:57: Craig appears to be taking a break now, as a result of David Clark, Apple’s Senior Director, watchOS Engineering, has bungee-jumped into the set to speak in regards to the Apple Watch.
10:58: “Wooo!” he says. “For those who stay life on the sting like me, watchOS 26 is for you. We’re bringing gnarly new options to an Apple Watch close to you! We expect you’re going to adore it.”
10:59: “Tubular!” he provides.
11:00: watchOS is getting a variety of latest exercises, together with chess boxing, cheese rolling, and Quidditch. And your coaching schedules will change into optimised by AI-powered evaluation of your well being and efficiency metrics.
11:02: Speaking of AI, right here’s an enormous one: Apple Intelligence is coming to the watch! The massive computational duties shall be dealt with by a close-by iPhone, however for easy queries this might be a game-changer.
11:04: There’s additionally a brand new Murderbot-themed watch face. Cute!
11:05: The primary developer beta is out now, and the software program will run on the Apple Watch Collection 6 and later–that’s the identical set of units that would run watchOS 11 final yr. Excellent news, Collection 6 homeowners.
iPadOS 26
11:06: David Clark is off, kite-surfing on prime of an F1 racing automobile, in order that’s it for the Apple Watch. Craig is again, and he means enterprise.
11:07: The iPad is the perfect pill on the planet, he says. And this yr, due to iPadOS 26, it’s going to change into even higher. “We expect you’re going to adore it.”
11:08: This may not take lengthy; Craig is rattling by way of the updates. iPadOS 26 contains the identical shiny, glassy aesthetic as iOS 26, and the brand new Video games app. Will it get the battery-saving mode too?
11:09: Apparently not. Nor does it have any Mac-inspired options. However it should help Arabic calligraphy. The primary developer beta is out now, and iPadOS 26 will run on the iPad Professional (2018) and later, the iPad Air (third gen) and later, the iPad mini (fifth gen) and later, and the iPad (eighth gen) and later.
Mahmoud Itani / Foundry
AirPods stay translation
11:10: One other change of personnel as Ron Huang, VP Sensing and Connectivity, hits the digital stage. Final yr he talked us by way of software program modifications affecting AirPods and the house. What have you ever acquired for us this yr, Ron?
11:11: We’re guessing this doesn’t rely as one of many main platforms, as a result of in any other case we’d must conclude that Tim Prepare dinner can not rely.
11:12: Oh, that is large. AirPods are getting stay translation. If somebody speaks to you in Spanish, the AirPods will ship the audio to your iPhone, the place it is going to be translated to English and despatched again to your ears.
11:14: Granted, that is outdated information–rival merchandise such because the Google Buds have supplied it for years–however it’s by no means fairly delivered on the promise. It is going to be fascinating to see how Apple will get on with this idea.
11:15: No phrase but on which AirPods will help the characteristic, however Huang does say the iPhone will should be operating iOS 26.
Yet one more factor!
11:16: It appears to be like like we may be wrapping up. Tim Prepare dinner is again out, summing up at the moment’s bulletins.
11:17: Apple’s merchandise are designed with three ideas in thoughts, he says: simplicity, usefulness, and leveraging actionable synergy by way of information verticals. As we speak’s software program updates have been all created to additional these objectives. Whether or not you’re on iPhone, iPad, Mac, Apple Watch, or Imaginative and prescient Professional, it is best to get a constant and intuitive expertise.
11:18: However wait–there’s extra. It’s time for One Extra Factor! Forward of the present, pundits couldn’t agree on whether or not we might anticipate any new {hardware}. That is after we discover out.
11:20: We’re watching yet one more advertising video, all moody curves and arduous close-ups. It’s arduous to see what we’re taking a look at, however I believe… sure, it’s a Mac. It’s a brand new Mac Professional! We’re getting {hardware} in spite of everything!
11:22: The up to date Mac Professional for 2025 comes, after all, with the newest M4 chipset. (The Mac Professional Apple was promoting for $6,999 as not too long ago as final week got here, slightly shockingly, with an M2 processor.) Till now probably the most highly effective chip within the household was the M4 Max within the MacBook Professional and Mac Studio, however there’s a brand new sheriff on the town: the M4 Extremely. Apple says the M4 Extremely is 75 instances as quick at basic processing and 120 instances as quick at graphical duties. Wow!
11:24: Ah, wait. It seems Apple was evaluating the M4 Extremely with the Intel Core i9.
11:25: There isn’t a brand new design. Or any apparent modifications to the chassis apart from the brand new chip.
11:26: Prepare dinner is introducing one other presenter to speak in regards to the new machines. I don’t recognise him, however the caption says his identify is Dan Trump. Presumably somebody from John Ternus’s {hardware} engineering division?
11:27: “It’s all pc,” says Trump.
11:28: “Sure,” Prepare dinner replies. “And we expect you’re going to like Mac Professional M4 Extremely.”
11:29: “Thanks, Tim Apple. All of us love pc, don’t we? You already know, Steve Jobs was an enormous fan of mine. He got here as much as me, large man, robust man, tears operating down his face and onto his Issey Miyake turtleneck. ‘Sir,’ he stated, ‘Sir, we’d like cyber.’ So we’re wanting, very strongly, at bringing again cyber. Thanks on your consideration to this matter.”
11:34: Prepare dinner appears to be like confused for a second, however quickly recovers. “That’s proper,” he says, “We’re constructing Mac Professional proper right here within the U.S.! Apple is dedicated to bringing extra of its manufacturing than ever earlier than again to this nice nation.”
11:35: Mr Trump is ushered off the digital stage whereas Tim Prepare dinner thanks all of the individuals who made at the moment doable. And we’re completed for one more yr. See you within the fall!
