Picture by Stephanie Sunberg for Maria Stanley
Time administration and group have by no means come naturally to me. When life grew to become unmanageable—a continuing since my second little one arrived—I appeared to the consultants. Not as soon as did I consider listening to my very own rhythm and physique. Productiveness, I believed, was one thing to grasp, not one thing to grasp.
Then I hit a wall.
I used to be bored with feeling like this, so I ended preventing my very own nature. I ended taking productiveness recommendation from individuals who don’t have ADHD.
For years, I had been attempting to contort myself into somebody I wasn’t—structured, disciplined, and neatly organized. An individual who might comply with a system designed for a mind that didn’t work like mine. Why had I ever believed I might handle my time the identical means they did?
The shift was refined however modified every part. I’m unstuck, now not languishing, shifting forward with objective. I do know I’ll get caught once more, however I additionally know this: I’m achieved chasing options that have been by no means meant to work for me.
In the present day, I’m sharing what does work—how I get issues achieved with out draining myself within the course of. As a result of after we work in opposition to who we’re, burnout isn’t a risk. It’s a assure.
Notes on Productiveness, Relaxation, and Worthiness
A observe on productiveness.
I outline productiveness as doing what I stated I’d do—for myself, for others—in a means that is sensible for my life. I spent two years attempting to heal burnout by “resting,” solely to really feel worse with every passing day. Seems, relaxation isn’t simply stillness. Some sorts of relaxation are lively, and studying to revive that modified every part.
A observe on relaxation.
Completely different sorts of relaxation comply with completely different sorts of productiveness. Understanding what you want means realizing your limits. Making an attempt to perform like somebody with out ADHD solely pushed me farther from these indicators. ADHD brains want various kinds of relaxation—emotional, psychological, artistic, bodily, passive.
I don’t recharge by watching TV. I recharge by studying, cooking, taking lengthy walks, and training Pilates. To outsiders, it’d appear like I’m at all times going, however this type of motion restores me. Typically, organizing a junk drawer is self-care. Different instances, it’s a warning signal. Once I’m mentally drained, TV helps. Once I’m emotionally overwhelmed, it makes me really feel caught. Studying the distinction modified every part.
A observe on worthiness.
We’re taught to measure our value by what we produce. A part of my midlife journey has been rejecting that, untangling my worth from my output, and specializing in making relatively than measuring. If you happen to’re within the thick of that, this put up will not be what you want in the present day.
Your value is just not your work. However making—creating, shifting, shaping one thing from nothing—is an expression of you. It’s life-giving. It’s confidence-building. It’s the factor that may pull you out of a spiral earlier than it takes maintain. Once I began honoring my internal drive to create, productiveness stopped being one thing I chased. It grew to become the pure results of discovering my stream. Momentum, not depletion. Creation, not extraction. And that modified every part.
Once I began honoring my internal drive to create, productiveness stopped being one thing I chased. It grew to become the pure results of discovering my stream. Momentum, not depletion. Creation, not extraction. And that modified every part.
Residing with Limitations, Each Psychological and Bodily
I’m a working mom with hobbies, a social life, and a deep appreciation for a superb night time’s sleep and each day bodily motion. I don’t wish to give any of that up. So, I settle for that I don’t have lengthy, uninterrupted stretches for deep-focus work like I used to.
I additionally settle for that typically I don’t know if I want relaxation or momentum. The one strategy to know is by tuning into my physique, and that requires emotional regulation, which can be laborious to entry while you’re overstimulated.
My capacity to entry my most “productive” self is restricted and never constant. Understanding I’m not at all times going to make the suitable alternative helps me discover some grace relatively than falling right into a disgrace spiral. I used to make my incapability to get issues achieved imply one thing about me as a human being. We don’t try this anymore. Some days I can provide myself what I want. Some days I simply mess up. Life goes on.
Attaining optimum productiveness daily is unrealistic. Once I do yoga, my physique can really feel fully completely different from in the future to the subsequent. Brains are like that too. There are occasions when work and life really feel like an uphill battle. Switching duties feels tougher than it ought to be. And there are seasons the place effectivity simply isn’t within the playing cards—accepting that has been key to discovering a means by means of.
As a result of I don’t have hours to ease into focus, I’ve needed to hack my system. In doing that, I discovered three important rules that assist me get issues achieved with a neurodivergent mind: simplicity, urgency, and momentum.
Right here’s how they form my each day life.
3 Ideas I Comply with for Improved “Productiveness”
Precept 1: Simplicity
I preserve easy methods for capturing concepts, documenting duties, and organizing the entire above. The hot button is that the processes are simple to repeat and every part is simple to entry—nothing is ever too sophisticated. That is paramount.
I take advantage of the Notes app and Reminders app on my cellphone in addition to Notion to save lots of concepts and duties. I additionally write issues down on paper as a result of I’ll by no means be a totally digital individual. The mind processes handwriting utterly in a different way than typing. Except for Notion, the apps on my cellphone are VERY easy and straightforward to make use of.
I take advantage of the bucket system for digital recordsdata (and bodily objects in my house), one thing I first discovered about from KC Davis, creator of The best way to Maintain Home Whereas Drowning. I take advantage of digital buckets to arrange recordsdata on my laptop in these classes: To-Do Lists, Writing, Enterprise Tasks, Content material Creation, Household, Our House, Studying, Finance, Psychological Well being, Cooking, Journey, Bodily Well being, and Shoppers.
Precept 2: Urgency
These of us who’re deeply conversant in procrastination understand it’s a nasty behavior that “works” as a result of we get issues achieved as soon as we really feel the stress of time. Nevertheless, I found that once I procrastinate and rush to get every part achieved shortly, I really feel like my work is missing as a result of I don’t have time to follow deep work and get all my concepts out. To interrupt the cycle of procrastination, I have to create my very own urgency. This precept comes into play by way of the timer I take advantage of (extra on this under).
Precept 3: Momentum
With any motion, I’ve lengthy identified the toughest half is getting began, which is why creating momentum is so essential. As a result of transitions are so tough for individuals with ADHD, the precept of momentum retains us going.
To create my each day momentum, I applied a morning routine that’s pared right down to the fundamentals and prioritizes probably the most difficult factor first. I rise up, brew espresso, and sit right down to work instantly. This creates a pure inflow of dopamine that may carry me by means of the day. I used to meditate and stretch earlier than attending to work, and now I do it after I end one thing that takes a whole lot of focus. I really feel wonderful and able to sort out something once I use momentum like this.
4 Productiveness Instruments I Swear By
For a similar causes I’m a fan of utilizing pen and paper, I like bodily instruments that aren’t on my cellphone. Listed here are the 4 I at all times have at my desk.
1. Keep on Monitor Planner: This planner helps me plan the small print of every week.
2. Timer: That is for training the Pomodoro method and for simulating and creating urgency and constraints. I’ve three of them.
3. The Brick: The Brick blocks choose apps on my cellphone for a set period of time. Having a bodily instrument to restrict my digital entry is essential for me. Brick wins for its simplicity.
4. Apple Headphones: To lock in and tune out. White noise, sound bowls, EDM, rap. Doesn’t matter what it’s so long as I can’t hear what’s happening round me.
I additionally flip to a couple choose assets and folks for recommendation on productiveness:
My Work Routine
On Sunday night time or Monday morning, I mind dump every part into my Keep on Monitor Planner—duties, concepts, and notes I’ve collected all through the week in my Notes and Reminders apps. Then, I take advantage of the Eisenhower Matrix to type what’s pressing, what can wait, what could be delegated, and what’s simply noise. I hate planning, however I’ve discovered that pushing by means of this step makes every part else simpler.
When it’s time to work, I take my brick and timer wherever I am going—whether or not it’s my workplace, the eating desk, or a espresso store. I placed on my headphonesdecide a activity, and set a timer: 25 minutes for small duties like emails and captions, 45 minutes for deeper work like writing and design. The timer retains me from falling into perfectionism (which is simply procrastination in disguise).
I additionally set agency bodily and digital boundaries. My cellphone stays out of attain, my texts are on mute, and if my workplace divider is up, my household is aware of I want uninterrupted time. It’s not good—youngsters nonetheless stroll in—nevertheless it helps everybody be extra aware about what pressing truly means.
On the finish of the day, I ask myself: Do I have to push by means of or name it an evening? If I really feel like ending my to-do checklist will show I “labored laborious sufficient,” I am going to mattress. If wrapping up one final activity will assist tomorrow’s momentum, I give myself 30 extra minutes. No inflexible guidelines—simply tuning in.
I used to make my incapability to get issues achieved imply one thing about me as a human being. We don’t try this anymore. Some days I can provide myself what I want. Some days I simply mess up. Life goes on.
The Energy of Discomfort
I now not take ease as a right as a result of I understand how laborious easy issues could be. I used to attend for the right situations to write down—now I jot issues down in the midst of a grocery retailer. I comply with ease when it presents itself.
However discomfort is at all times there.
When large initiatives really feel overwhelming (good day, writing a guide), I take into consideration Phil Stutz’s string of pearls idea—progress is simply including one small motion at a time. Some pearls aren’t nice, however the level is to maintain including them. Getting began is 80% of the battle, and resistance by no means absolutely disappears.
Over time, I’ve come to understand the ache of doing laborious issues. It’s stripped my ego from productiveness and proven me the meditative energy of merely doing. The ache of making comes from caring a lot that we’re afraid—and that’s lovely.
We don’t have to boss-babe our means again to hustle tradition, however possibly we swung too far within the different course. I do know I did. Now, I consider self-care as self-respect: How can I make selections in the present day that honor what I care about most?
There’ll at all times be components of the method we hate, however the extra we do them, the higher we get at pushing by means of. And in doing so, we carry what we deeply care about to life.
Kate is the founding father of Wit & Delight. She is presently studying the right way to play tennis and is without end testing the boundaries of her artistic muscle. Comply with her on Instagram at @witanddelight_.
